February 13, 2010

• Making a Sex Adventure Work

  Making a Sex Adventure Work

  This is an unsolicited response to SerenaDante’s recent post (Sex Adventure)

  1. Threesome. The key to introducing a third party is to either do it with someone who neither of you know (vacations are a good time for this) or to do it with a trusted friend. There is a bit of a trick to selecting the trusted friend. The woman has to choose the woman and the man has to choose the man. This eliminates the potential threat to the core relationship that occurs when in response to your desire to have a threesome, your boyfriend says, “Oh I know the right girl.” This is probably someone he has been lusting after and therefore a threat to the core relationship. (Same goes for men chosen by the woman.)
  A good way to invite a third person is to have a one-day event like a Birthday, XMass present, or other celebration. This makes the threesome a special reward and implies a one time situation.

  2. Lesbian Sex. As a man I think this is the easiest but that is probably just a guy thing. I do know some girls who have engaged in lesbian sex simply because it drove their boyfriends wild. And perhaps encouraging a girlfriend to engage in some light lesbian fare in front of your boyfriend just to drive him nuts might be a way to A. engage in full out lesbian stuff if she gets excited enough and B. engage in a threesome with your boyfriend.
  For both 1 and 2 above keep in mind that having lesbian sex and/or a threesome doesn’t have to be an all or nothing proposition. Setting boundaries often creates a safer environment to plunge into these things. And then you can decide if you really want to follow up with another session.

  3. Bondage. One of the key elements of making bondage pleasurable is freeing the one who is bound from any responsibility for having to satisfy their partner. Full responsibility for whatever happens belongs to the unbound person and the bound person is simply free to enjoy themselves. So you can create the environment of bondage without actually using constraints as long as one person agrees not to move their hands or feet (or whatever else the unbound person suggests). In the throes of passion and sexual teasing this can be a hard rule to follow but can be a safe way to start.

  4. Role Playing. Serena’s idea of the cheerleader and athlete is nice but this should be played in behind real bleachers. Other roles might include nurse/patient, bar slut and conventioneer, priest/parishioner, teacher/student, etc. When possible you should play these roles outside the bedroom to start.

  5. Sex Video. Go for it. You might try some performance art like a striptease. Or looking into the camera while you are performing oral sex. Or even create angles where you could imagine keeping it and showing it to others. For example, only show your bodies from the waist up while you are doing it. Then, of course, there is always POV (Point of View) where one person films the other essentially from their face. Hot.

  6. Double Penetration. If you define this as using a dildo or vibrator, it is quite easy to accomplish and worth the effort assuming you enjoy anal.

  Good luck Serena and keep us up to date on your progress. We’re all behind you.

  • 8:32 pm
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