Discussion

  • Why a community?

    I’ve been blogging on Xanga since 2007.  Before that I blogged at another community called Gather.  I enjoy writing within a community and I find the idea of blogging in general cyberspace with WordPress or Blogger to be a fairly lonely experience.  It seems to take forever to build a following and you don’t know where to begin following people.  Yet Gather has done poorly and so too has Xanga.  Few people are still around from when I started.  

    I’ve been pondering a lot lately – what is it that is so enjoyable about a community such as Xanga and why doesn’t that appeal appear to be more universal.  What do you think?

  • Marriage should only be for procreation!

    This is the argument by some who oppose same sex marriages.  Logically then all marriages should be dissolved when the partners become too old to bear children and proof of fertility should be a prerequisite to marriage.  I guess these are the same people who believe that anal sex is a sin and fellatio and cunnilingus should be prosecuted as abhorrent behavior.  I imagine these are pretty unhappy people who are afraid of their own desires. 

    I actually have some homophobia.  It’s just not in my DNA to consider sex with another man.  It has no appeal to me.  But get over it!  Not everyone is built the same.  What you find exciting might not be the same as it is for me but why should I care and get my panties in a bunch over it.  Live and let live.  That’s the basis of freedom.  It’s supposed to be for all.

  • Leisure

    Her blue eyes were almost translucent

    Certainly to her.

    She saw the world differently.

     

    Her frame was fragile

    And her life hung by a thread

    Threatened by her own destruction.

     

    Her life seemed out of control.

    No job, boring school,

    No direction or desire.

     

    She had no one

    Who really understood her.

    Or who heard her cries for help.

     

    The shadows in her mind

    Haunted her, followed her

    Wherever she went.

     

    The goblins and voices

    Never left her alone.

    She was alone most of the time.

     

    * * * *

    Ah, the days of leisure

    To do whatever we want

    Or nothing.

     

    A hundred years ago

    Our children would be working

    In order for us all to live.

     

    Every hand was necessary

    For survival.  To eat every day.

    The family above all else.

     

    Different values, they say.

    Teen suicide rates are up.

    Leisure. Loneliness. No purpose.

     

    What to do?

    When you’re bored with

    Leisure.

  • Of Bondage

    A lot of people fee that bondage is a part of BDSM and that it involves pain and masochism.  It doesn’t have to be that way at all.  Bondage on its own can represent a fun way to enjoy a different sort of sexual experience.

    Some people enjoy the feeling of being in restraints, of having someone else in complete control, and the feeling of helplessness.  But what I enjoy most about it is the relief that the one who is tied up from trying to please the other.  Certainly most of the time, I fully enjoy mutually participative sex but I also enjoy teasing and being teased.

    When you have your partner tied up, their pleasure is at your mercy and you can touch them, tease them, work their bodies as you know they like.  But denial is a part of the excitement by delaying their complete satisfaction.  Extending the foreplay. Making a night of it.

    Of course, the tied up partner is often more sensitive than normal in this situation, because they cannot respond or initiate any activity, all they are left with is to feel your caresses.  Blindfolding them reduces even further the senses they can use and increases the anticipation.  This can be a good time to get out the vibrators, oils, silk, and other bedside playthings. 

    Bondage can be enjoyable from both sides (IMO).  Whether you are the one doing the teasing or enjoying the ministrations, I highly recommend you give it a try.  Trusting your partner is an important aspect of the enjoyment (unless you enjoy fear) and so it’s not a first date activity.

    If you or your partner have a fear of being tied up (from some childhood trauma) this can be done but getting your partner to agree to pretend to be tied up and agree to not respond or initiate contact with you.  Usually you will have to remind them once or twice during the teasing.

    So give it some thought.  Discuss it with your partner.  Give it a try.  Enjoy.

  • The Dare Survey

    I dare you to complete this survey, especially @marica0701, @olwd, @boulderchristina, @shimmerbodycream, @crazy2love, @godfatherofgreenbay, @thatslifekid, @kellsbella@babieboo_annie, @thetheologianscafe, @saintblue1131

    1) What do you consider your first sexual experience to be?

    2) What is the sexiest thing you’ve ever worn in public?

    3) What is the sexiest surprise you have ever given someone?

    4) What is your favorite scene from a porn video or story?

    5) Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex? 

    6) Had sex in a public place?

    7) Have you ever had anal sex?

    8) Have you ever had a rim job? Given one?

    9) Are you in a relationship now?

    10) What is your partner’s sexual fantasy?

    11) Do you prefer to orgasm before or after your partner?

    12) How often do you masturbate?

    13) Have you ever had cyber or phone sex?

    14) When you masturbate do you think of a specific person, celebrity or friend?

    15) What is on your sexual Bucket list?

  • ecstasy

    If you have ever taken the drug ecstasy I would love to hear about your experience/feelings. You can respond here in the public comments or to me privately and I’ll retain your confidentiality.

  • Publishing Erotica

    I’ve had a couple of people approach me with stories and thought I would offer some advise to anyone who has considered publishing.  Publishing can be relatively painless and profitable.  

    If you have ever written erotica for fun and thought about publishing, here are a few things to keep in mind.  You can publish free stories in a number of places including Xanga which are good for getting feedback.  Literotica.com is perhaps the most established free site for erotic stories.

    It is useful to establish a pseudonym.  This would include a name and email address.  I would recommend choosing a name with some uniqueness since this makes it easier to find you for your fans.  When you think you have a name google it to see if anyone is using it and how.

    A pseudonym allows you to fantasize freely and write freely without worrying about how your kids, and parents, and future employers or co-workers, etc. might react to any individual story.

    If you decide to publish for profit, I would recommend Smashwords.com as a good place to start. This is only for publishing ebooks but it is a relatively cheap way to get started.  There is no cost for joining, although you have to purchase an ISBN number for each story which when using Smashwords will cost you less than $5.  You might also choose to buy a picture for a cover and this could cost you a couple of dollars.  There are services such as ShutterStock.com, Dreamstime.com, and iStockphoto.com which offer thousands of cheap photos.  All in all you can publish a book for under $10.  Smashwords will kept a small portion of your sale price (which you get to choose).  The author gets 80% and Smashwords 20%.  Plus Smashwords will re-publish your story to Barnes and Noble, Sony, and other sites.

    Smashwords does have some fairly strict formatting guidelines and they have a document with outlines their requirements.  It’s a bit tedious to get through the first time but once you understand it, it becomes much easier.

    Lastly the best way to publish and get a return is to have multiple books including one or two that is offered free.  I made the mistake of publishing some of my shorter stories as free and the readers were disappointed at the length giving me poor review marks and discouraging paying customers.  If you offer a free book it should be one of your better ones and a good length. 

    The longer the better, I think, in terms of story length.  5,000 words is a rough minimum and even for erotica the story should have some plot and character development – not just a sex scene.  Although stringing a series of sex scenes together with the same character seems to work well.

    In summary if you are thinking of publishing, you might want to write a few stories, and publish them in rapid succession or even all at once.  This allows readers who enjoy one story to buy your others.  Lastly, ratings and reviews can make or break a story and they are hard to come by.  If you have fans from another site encourage them to write reviews for you.

    Erotica books are generally priced at $2 to $3 for 5,000+ words and $4 to $5 for 10,000+ words, etc.

  • What makes Xanga exciting?

    I keep hearing how Xanga has become a wasteland. And I wonder what is it that people feel is missing. I know I miss certain people who used to frequent the site but there are always new ones to be discovered. Personally I feel the site has become less sex oriented. There used gto be more posting of provocative pictures and videos. But I doubt that is what people miss. Am I wrong? If you can try to be specific in your answers. Do you miss particular kinds of posts (clever, rants, funny, meaningful)? Or particular kinds of people? Are there new Xanga features which you feel have contributed (recommending comments, top blogs, etc.).

    What do you think?

  • PayPal petition

    PayPal is censoring what you can read by demanding publishers remove certain erotic literature from their offerings. You can find out about both sides by reading my blog: http://rushmorejudd.blogspot.com/?zx=5e35154b7906abb9 or hear PayPal’s side by reading their blog: https://www.thepaypalblog.com/2012/03/paypals-acceptable-use-policy-on-sale-of-certain-erotica/  Apparently they have decided the courts are the wrong place to decide what is taboo in literature.  If you liked the Twilight series (bestiality) or if you enjoy erotica in general, please sign this position to stop PayPal.  https://eff.org/r.1Uy

  • PayPal Burning Books

    Are you aware that PayPal has taken it upon themselves to censor erotica by pressuring the publishers to meet their censorship guidelines or they will withdraw their credit card services.  Since PayPal has a virtual monopoly on online credit card processing for non-mega sites, so the publishers are feeling the pinch and caving in.  Censorship by corporation officers – a new model for demagoguery.  Read more about it here:

    http://rushmorejudd.blogspot.com/2012/03/paypal-conducting-book-burnings.html