This is my way of confessing.  They say writing it down and expressing your thoughts will help to eliminate the guilt I feel.  I have been a professional masseuse for twelve years and have never erred so badly.  But this one time I violated the most important ethical principal of the profession.  It’s not just that I feel guilty but I’m afraid this can only end badly.

She made the appointment by phone – a referral of her mother, a long time customer.  She was familiar with my services and asked for a one hour soothing massage.  The day of her massage a terrible storm came up and all my customers cancelled except for her.  She lived close by and had a 4-wheel drive jeep.  I was immediately struck by her beauty and I could see she had a body to match even under her neatly tailored winter clothes. 

I brought her into my massage room which was a converted bedroom.  It was large well lit but with hedges outside to maintain privacy.  I had already turned on the space heater for extra warmth and placed a flannel electric blanket over the massage table.  I even had a small heater for my massage oils which gave the room a pleasant scent.  It was a welcome oasis in a white winter land.

“Take off your clothes and get under the blanket.  We’ll start on your back so lay face down.  You may keep your panties on if you wish.”   I gave her a few minutes before I knocked and entered.  I couldn’t help but notice the tiniest black thong lying on the top of her clothes.  I congratulated her on making an appointment when everyone else had cancelled.  She asked if there would be a bonus and I told her that we certainly wouldn’t be rushed.

I turned off the electric blanket and folded it down exposing her back.  Her back had a graceful curve that led to a narrow waist.  I began the massage from the top of the table and rubbed her shoulders, neck and upper back.  She immediately expressed her enjoyment by whispering soft comforting sounds as my hands ran up and down her back.  Moving to the side of the table I worked the lower back along with her upper back.  Her skin was soft and supple.  I couldn’t help but notice the sides of her breasts pressed against the table.  I could see their firmness. 

I was getting excited.  Something I rarely did.  But I felt my pants tightening.  I massaged a lot of women but seldom were they as young and as beautiful as this woman.  I have to admit her quiet vocal responses to my massage also helped.  When I rubbed her sides she moaned a little louder seemingly encouraging me to massage the sides of her breasts.  But I resisted the temptation.  Moving to the end of the table I uncovered one leg and massaged it with two hands.  My movements were slow and deliberate.   The higher I moved on her leg the loader she moaned, clearly enjoying it.  Her moans seemed to be encouraging me to go even higher.

I did the other leg and the pattern was repeated.  So I decided to take a risk and massage her perfect bum.  I did this with a number of regular customers but seldom with someone I didn’t know.  I did one cheek and then the other kneading and squeezing her large gluteus muscles.  She responded positively and so I moved one hand to the bottom of her rump while the other spread across her crack encompassing both cheeks.  I moved gently from side to side.   She had a great bum and I loved massaging it so I spent more time than normal on it.  Her breathing became heavier and her moans louder.

“Ok, time to turn over.”  I held the blanket up to make it easier for her to turn over.  I massaged her face and shoulders and arms.  As I pulled each arm stretching it, I managed to drop her hand in my lap where she could feel that I was excited.  It was subtle and quick but she gave a loud exhale and arched her back a bit.  When I finished with her arms I moved back to the head of the table and began to massage her chest.  Moving my hands around the edges of each breast I pulled and rubbed the muscles and tissues that made up the bulk of each full firm bulb.  She had magnificent breasts.  Even lying on her back they stood proud.  She had quarter sized areolas punctuated with two tiny rosy hard nipples.

“That feels good,” she said.  “You have great hands.  Don’t be shy.”  I wondered what she meant but only for a second.  My hands moved over the tops of her breasts and my palms ran gently across her nipples.

“Yes,” she moaned.  She began to move her hips and I decided to spend a little extra time here since she was enjoying it so much.  She reached for me with her arms and I had to break off and stop her from touching me.  She understood and put her hands under her head, smiling broadly.  I returned to her breasts and continued to massage them spending more time rimming her nipples and even pinching them.  Something I had never done to any client before.  She smiled and moaned and wiggled her hips.

Our hour was up.  I had massaged virtually every part of her body and I knew continuing would be dangerous but I knew she wasn’t ready to quit either.

“Are you in a hurry?  I have time if you want to continue.”

“Yes, please.  I am in no hurry.”  I replaced the blanket over her chest and moved down to the foot of the table.  I put a round cushion under her knees.  This had the effect of spreading her legs.   I uncovered one leg and began to massage it bringing my hands right up beside her most sensitive area to the very top of her leg.  I did this a few times focusing on the upper portion of her legs and using a very gentle touch.  One hand would graze the area where her leg met her torso, touching the sensitive skin on the outside of her lips.  When I finished with one leg I massaged the other in the same way grazing her folds every time I moved.  She was whimpering and telling me what great hands I had and saying ‘yes’ as I came so very close to massaging her pussy.  Her hips wiggled and she stretched her back from time to time trying to release tension.  I swear I could smell her sweet juices as she continued to moan and wriggle.

I moved to the side and began to massage the soft tissue of her stomach and abdomen.  The blanket now covered her legs and exposed her chest down to her waist.  I moved downward and used my fingers to massage the space between her open legs under the edge of the blanket.  Starting in the crevice where her leg meets I moved closer to the center and pressing all of my fingers over the outside of her lips I massaged then in a circle slightly pulling them apart.  Her pussy became exposed to me for the first time as the blanket slid lower and I was amazed at how completely hairless it was.  It was so smooth it made it easier to massage the skin surrounding her sensitive area.  In addition to pulling her lips apart a bit I was squeezing her clit between them as I pressed them together.

“How does that feel,” I asked testing to see if see would allow me to continue to violate her sensitive areas.

“Hmmmm, wonderful.”  That was all the encouragement I needed.  This beautiful young woman’s body under my hands raised my excitement to great heights.  I slid one hand across her entire mound from one side to the other, then went from opposite side with my other.  I repeated these strokes rapidly tapping her mound and gently brushing her clit as I went.  When she stretched and smiled I could feel the tension building in her.  It wasn’t long before my hands began moving in a more vertical motion swiping up and down the middle of her lips which were noticeably swollen at this point. 

I could tell from the reactions of her body and her breathing that she wanted me to continue and go farther but I needed to have her verbalize it.  To admit it out loud somehow thinking in my confused state that that would be enough to keep me out of trouble. 

“Do you want me to go deeper?” I asked as my palms spread over her lips and went between her legs.  She muttered something that didn’t quite make it out of her mouth caught up in her throat.  “What?” I said.

“Yes, please continue, go deeper.  Yes.”  I dipped one finger into her slit and ran it slowly up from near the bottom of her slit until it rested just under her little nub.  Her lips were swollen and her clit was not very large.  I could feel its stiff hardness inside her lips.  With small movements of my finger tips I pushed against it.  She groaned and twisted her head.  He legs spread open a little.  I wiggled my fingertip keeping it in contact with her trigger but increasing and decreasing the pressure of it on her.  Increasing my pace as I went along.  She began shouting encouraging words in no particular order.

“Yes! That’s it! Oh gawd! Faster! Right there.”  I was bringing her close to an orgasm but not sure if I could finish her with my fingertip only.  I managed to move around to the bottom of the table without breaking my rhythm too much and from below I moved my other hand into the crevice between her legs.  I entered her with two fingers and did so easily.  I pulled her opening a little wider and got a third finger inside of her.  I stopped pressing against her clit with my other hands and instead used it to open her lips at the top by spreading two fingers from inside the deepest folds of her lips. 

I then leaned forward between her legs, put my head down and kissed her pussy.  I kissed her inside her lips and licked up to her clit.  I began moving the three fingers inside of her in and out making sure to press against the area of her g-spot.  I kissed her clit and then licked it softly.  I surrounded it with my lips and began to suck on it feeling her immediate response.   She arched and screamed and I felt her legs squeeze my head.  I took my hand that had spread her lips apart and ran it up to her breast which I squeezed like it was a ripe grapefruit.  She gushed everywhere.  I felt her pussy contract around my hand, her legs contract around my face, her mouth was gushing unintelligible words.  I held my ground and continued to suck and slide until she began to laugh and push my head away, yelling ‘stop, enough, please.’

I backed off caressing her body as my hand ran down it from her breast.  I slowly withdrew my fingers from her soaking tunnel.  I stood and had a broad unashamed smile on my face as I looked down over my conquest.  This beautiful young woman would never be mine in the real world but here in my massage parlor I used my skills to seduce her.  And she was so completely mine at that moment. 

It was when I finally retreated from the room that I realized how much trouble I created.  Her mother would be seeing me in two days.  When she came out she asked for another appointment and since that time one of her friends has called for an appointment.  I’m worried about what I have started and how this will affect my business.  I should have known better.

She warmed her hands with hot oil and rubbing.  Just enough to allow her hands to run smoothly and slowly down my back.  Her fingertips reached under the blanket and swept across the small of my back.  It was the slowness of the strokes that made me feel every inch of naked flesh.  She used slow strokes, pressure and small movements of her fingertips.  Warm hands.  A heated blanket covered the areas she wasn’t working on.  The blanket was also for heat and offered no modesty from her hands or her eyes when she wanted.   Although she had made it clear that one part of my anatomy was definitely off limits to touching.

Before she finished with my back and legs she placed her hands on my gluts.  The finger tips of one hand pressed into the round orb finding deep hidden muscles.   Her fingertips moving slightly from top to bottom.  Glacially.  The other hand rested at the very bottom of my ass holding it steady – a warm nurturing hand, mostly still.  I could feel my cock hardening, pressed between my stomach and the sheet covered table.  When she finished with my gluts she rocked my body side to side by pushing from each side at my hips and my cock reached its full attention.

She turned up the space heater before I turned over, replacing the blanket with a thin sheet.  The sheet did little to hide my tented hardon.  But she had seen this before and treated it as a normal part of the massage.   She did the usual rubbing of my chest and arms and head from the front.  My erection softened but when she moved to my leg, running her hands together right up to the top, grazing my balls just slightly, I felt a surge of renewed power.  I could feel its head move across the thin sheet and this added a little extra stimulation.  I stretched, ending with a slight thrust of my hips and she encouraged my stretching.

“That’s right Rush, let it out.  Stretch that tension out of there.”  I rubbed my cock against the tented sheet thrusting my hips a second time.  “That’s it.  Doesn’t that feel good?”

It did.  It felt great.  She massaged my feet and opened the distance between my legs to do the other leg.  It seemed to me she reached even higher and my stiff cock was leaning slightly toward this leg.  Her hands must be right under my cock but not touching it.  I was very slowly rolling my hips feeling the draw of the sheet inch its way against the tip of my very hard cock.   I thought perhaps I was crossing the line until I heard her encourage me again.

“Yes, work that tailbone.  A lot of tension gets wrapped up in our spine.  Work it.”  She reached her hands under my thighs and she took a cheek in each palm.  Working with me she squeezed my cheeks lifting me slightly with each roll.  I looked down and could see her face above my thighs quite close to my bulging obvious member.  I was steadily thrusting my hips.

“That’s it.  Get rid of that tension.”  She appeared to have her eyes closed but it was hard for me to tell for sure.  Just seeing her that close made me more excited.  I continued to work my hips feeling her arms and hands under me and the sheet rubbing on my sensitive head.  Occasionally I gave into a feeling of a complete body stretch that came all the way down my spine extended through my arms and legs and ended in my hardening cock.

She slowly slid her hands from under my cheeks, down the back of my legs and pushed my thighs apart.  She found a comfortable spot in the middle of each inner thigh and pressed gently confining my ability to rock but I still managed keep a minimal thrusting going.  But I slowed.  There was a feeling that she was in control of what and how much I did.  Feeling this control by her simply feed my desire.   She moved both hands in synchronized movement toward my balls.   Her finger tips where on the top of my legs and her thumbs were under while her palms moved along my inner thighs.  She moved so very slowly pressing blood into the area, inching – no, micro-inching – her way toward my balls.  The anticipation was so great I had to give another full body stretch arching my hips as I did.

“That’s good!” she encouraged again in a soft soothing voice.  I peeked again to see her face looming over my middle.  I wondered if I could raise my cock to her mouth with another deep stretch.  The thought drove my cock to twitch.  Not just once but twice.

“I can feel your energy Rush.  It’s good to be in touch with what your body wants.“  Her hands had finally found their way into the crevices where my legs met.   Her thumbs rested on the bottom of each cheek and the side of each finger lay in the crevice gently touching my tightened sack.  She began to rub her thumbs in the crevice, moving very slowly. 

“There are some very important muscles and tendons in here that need attention.”  I gazed at her and she was smiling still perilously close to my middle.  The sheet was bunched up around her elbows and then tented over my straining cock.  Her thumbs were moving slowly and I felt my private parts were surrounded in her hands.  She had a particular way of making very small but significant movements.  Like now with the palms of her hands lifting and settling.  Not exactly moving but making me aware of where they were. 

“Now what I want you to do is to close your legs crossing one foot over the other. “  I obediently began the movement realizing I was pressing her hands into me, hugging them as it were.  They were still now but surrounding me in a tighter vise.  I felt my cock twitch against the sheet and my hips were again free to thrust.  Each thrust was now part of a whole body stretch starting at my neck, arching my back, twisting my tail.  As I thrust I could feel her hands shifting slightly.  Oh, just so slightly.

“Very good, Rush.  Work your spine.  Stretch it out.  Enjoy the release.”  My breathing was deep and passionate.  My hips were thrusting against the sheet tempting my cock to spring to ejaculation.  She pressed her hands down keeping me at a steady but slow rhythm.  The tension grew.  I felt like a windup toy getting tighter and tighter.  The sheet played with my tip.  I could see her looking at my tented cock and with a deep gasp, my cock jumped and a wet spot appeared on the sheet.  I had a moment of embarrassment.

“That’s it Rush, release the tension.  Let it go.”  And I did.  Over and over while her hands remained enclosing me but not touching me.  She patiently waited while I finished with another whole body stretch squeezing my legs and her hands gratefully.  Before letting me go she took a deep long breathe.  She left me a towel to clean up.

“Take your time Rush, I’ll get you some water.”  She left while I dressed.

(c) Rushmore Judd

I don’t really know why.  And certainly it is not all there is to attraction.  I also like a woman with a brain and a fun sexual imagination.  And the perfect breasts involve shape, firmness and nipple size (as if there was only one I was interested in!). There are many things that go into the attraction of the sexes.  But I’ve seen many posts from women complaining that their breasts are too small.  Okay not all men like small breasts but I am far from alone.  There are entire porn sites dedicated to A-cups and small titties, etc.  So for those of you who have small breasts, there is no need to be ashamed or self conscious.  I prefer them.  There are plenty of guys like me who will pop up for them just the way they are.  I don’t dislike big natural breasts but in truth I don’t find them as exciting and I am completely put off by those exploding fake jobbies so popular in porn flicks.

I’d love to hear other men’s opinion on the subject.

It was only an hour long session but this time it seemed so much longer.  She sat in the comfortable chair opposite his separated by a small low circular table, just large enough to hold two cups of coffee.  Unlike some of his patients, she got right down to it.  She was a student at the University.  She explained she had a problem with exhibitionism.  Inwardly he was amused because she was such an extraordinarily good looking woman.  He assumed she must get plenty of attention. 

She was dressed in a short tight black skirt and a white linen blouse that appeared a bit too small for her full grapefruit sized breasts.  The buttons of the blouse strained across her chest creating gaps and folds in the material.  She went on to say how she felt she had an addiction and, as she spoke, she matter-of-factly unbuttoned the most strained button in the middle of her breast and turned slightly to her right giving me a view of the white lacy bra underneath.

She never stopped talking and it was as though she was unaware of what she was doing.

“I never wear any panties.  See.”  She pulled up her skirt and opened her legs fully exposing her clean shaven intimate area to me.  “And that is probably unsanitary.  But I can’t seem to help myself.  Do you think that wearing no panties is unhealthy, doctor?”  She left her legs open.  He moved his open notebook to cover his lap.

“Not necessarily, Elaine.  What do you do during “that” time of the month?”

“Oh, well, I wear panties then sometimes but sometimes I just use a tampon and the string dangles down here.”  She pointed toward the junction of her open legs to draw his attention to the area.  He had been trying to look her in the eyes.  She went on talking about how she was from a large family.  How she had many siblings and as one of the younger ones, she got very little attention.  Her father died when she was just ten.  All of this added up to her feeling invisible.  She began to unbutton more of her blouse, slowly, without any comment about what she was doing.

“So how does this exhibitionism affect your daily life?  How does it interfere with your work or your studies or your relationships?”

“Well, as far as relationships go, it’s been a disaster.  The girls all think I dress like a slut and they hate me and some of the boys think I am a slut and assume my exhibitionism means that I am easy. 

“I’m not,” she said emphatically.  She pulled the blouse out of her waist and opened it all the way, pausing shortly, before standing to remove it completely.  She began removing her bra.

“Do you mind, doctor.  I find clothes constraining.”

“Well,” he stuttered, “tell me more about how this problem is affecting your life.”  He knew he should have told her to stop but he didn’t really want her to.  He found her body breathtaking.  As she removed her bra and exposed her rosy still nipples to him, he had to adjust his seat a bit.  He moved as little as possible but enough to straighten his hidden member. 

“Well I’ve had a few jobs but they have only been part time and I do get criticized all the time for the clothes I wear.”

“But you do manage to keep your clothes on while you work?”

“Mostly.  But if I’m alone or with just a couple of people sometimes I indulge.  Like the time I went into the office on the weekend and there was just me and a couple of the guys there.  They apparently turn down the AC during the weekend and it was hot, so I asked the guys if they would mind if I took off my clothes.  No one objected.  You see usually I ask first and people don’t seem to mind.  At least the guys don’t. “  After removing her bra she unzipped the skirt and let it fall to the floor.  He was mesmerized by this naked beauty that stood before him.  She sat down and crossed her legs placing her hands demurely into her lap.

“What about at school?  How are your grades?”

“Oh they’re OK.  Not great.  I don’t study enough.”

“How do you manage your exhibitionism in class?”

“Well, it is a university, you know, so I can wear almost anything I want and I often wear revealing clothes.  They don’t hassle me as much.  In fact, not at all.  Unlike in High School where I used to get in trouble all the time. Like the time I wore a see through blouse in High School.  I had a bra on and everything but they called my parents and made my mom come and pick me up.  What a hassle!  Now I ask you, Doctor, why would anyone not want to look at these?”  She held her breasts in her hands and pointed them at him.  Her rosy areolas were the size of quarters and her nipples looked like clam necks.

He decided he would count the number of bumps around each when he heard her say louder and louder, “Doctor, doctor, DOCTOR!”  He awoke to the shout in his intercom.

“Yes, Betty, what is it.”

“Your 3:00 is here.  Miss Elaine Drubansky.”

“Thanks, Betty, I’ll be right out.”  He knew these afternoon naps would have to end.

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